One of the things that I desperately need to do right now is to take a step back from quite a number of things and start focusing on the super-important things in life. I need to give a certain someone space and time, and that's been difficult for me because that person has been the one constant in my life for over 15 years, communicating or seeing each other every single day. It's like a limb was cut off and isn't regrowing.
The other thing I need to do is recognize that I'm far too reliant on the internet to keep me occupied. I don't read books as much as I used to. I don't interact with people in reality as much as I should, and social media rules my life. I'm on Facebook virtually all day long. I don't check Twitter or Instagram as much, but they're still there, and they're a source of pain right now, especially Instagram.
So yesterday I logged off of Facebook and deleted the app from my phone, along with Twitter and Instagram. I'm going to see how long I can go. Though this morning I did briefly log back into Facebook just to see a nice picture of Kaylee.
My focus needs to be on myself right now and on Kaylee. I need to let these outside influences slip by the wayside in order to get healthy in the mind. I'm in therapy, but the thing is I have these great sessions and then I cannot retain the knowledge or the sense of peace that I get, and when I go to communicate with certain people I forget everything that I have learned in therapy and just make things worse.
So that's why I need to take a step back. Radio silence for a while. Work on me.
I've been going to the gym regularly. Not every single day, but very very often. I didn't work out yesterday because I was exhausted both mentally and physically. But I did go Monday and Tuesday and will go again this afternoon. The gym has been my refuge lately. It's the one place where I know that I"m doing good work and accomplishing something meaningful.
I've been writing a lot too, you could call it a journal or a memoir, or just fragments. In any case, I'm working through my family issues through writing. Hopefully when I'm done with all of this I can actually publish it as a humorous self/help book. It's not just about the issues with my marriage, it's also got rememberances of times past.
I'm still here, you can still contact me to wmnoe at yahoo dot com. I just won't be posting on Social Media for a while. Wish me luck!