Tuesday, November 8, 2016

I need a win

You know, with the shit I've had to put up with over the last 12 months, I could really, really use a break. I mean really use a break. It's like whatever powers that be are out there, be it God, or Buddha, or Shiva, or Allah, or whomever just said "Hey Will Noetling we're going to push you to the brink of breaking and see just how much shit we can shovel down your throat." Yeah, maybe we were choosing between a douche and a turd sandwich, but dammit, it wasn't just that, not only will we have a douche as a president, but a Congress and Senate that has sat on their ass for 8 years and now is being rewarded for blocking everything that President Obama has tried to do. I'm praying for a miracle. Yes, I AM PRAYING. I'm praying for not just this stupid election, but for my future to be brighter than what it has been. I just can't take much more crap. I really can't. I need a new place to live. I need a job. I need something to look forward to, and it can't be a movie, or a book, or something in the media. It has to be something great.

I have NOTHING great in my life except for my beautiful child. She's keeping me going, but how do I look her in the eye and tell her that the future is looking good with an election like this? She followed it closely, she paid attention and she made up her own mind about Donald Trump. She wanted me to make sure I didn't vote for Trump. Come on. I really need a win. I haven't won in forever. At best I've been treading water. I don't think anyone really knows how much I've just been hanging on by a thread with the Sword of Damocles hanging right above me. Last October my life turned to shit. In the last 12 months I've lost my wife, my apartment and my job. In two weeks I'm going to lose the shit-box of a house that we're currently staying in. In two months I lose my unemployment insurance. I've been humbled by the amount of love and support that I've received from friends and family. I just don't know how much longer I can keep holding on. I had such hope that today we would be making history by electing the first woman to the Oval Office, instead we are electing a racist, misognystic douchebag who has never held political office, and on top of that we're giving him a house and senate that will rubber stamp everything he wants. If you wanted a white country where white men rule, you got it. I am actually crying right now. My heart is broken and my will is at its nadir. I need a miracle, right damn now.

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