Sometimes the point of having a blog is that it's a place where you can jot your thoughts down, and perhaps someone else might read them and either confirm or deny that you are in fact mentally insane. Or just f--king crazy. One of the two.
So working update, Wednesday will mark the close of my 3rd official week as a Postmates courier. So far so good. I've made some money, got some nice tips. It's a good thing FOR NOW. Gets me out of the house and keeps me active with enough in between time to feel like I'm still independent and doing my own thing. Right now I'm on day 20, and I actually have driven 14 of those 20 days, and half of the days that I didn't drive happened in the first week alone. So in the last two weeks I've missed a total of 3 days of driving. On average I make about $10 per delivery. But it's all about the averages. Because not every day is going to have a fantastic tip. My average is about one and one-half deliveries per hour. Again on average. So you can see what my hourly rate is by simple math, and yeah it's not the greatest. But for now it's what I can live with.
I do feel like I am in control of how much money I want to make, and it does seem to be about as much effort as I want to give multiplied by the demand for delivery on a given day in the North Hollywood/Studio City/Burbank corridor divided by the vagaries of the weather. I've noticed on days filled with good weather people don't want delivery as much, unless it's a Friday. Rainy days get better tips and more orders. The amount of tip has nothing so much to do with the complication of the order, the length of time it takes to get it to them, nor the friendliness of the delivery driver. It appears to have no rhyme or reason at all.
I'll say this, as with my own personal tipping, if I can afford a service where tipping is appropriate, then by all means I tip according to service quality. If I'm getting a two-dollar cup of coffee at Starbucks that I'm not a regular at, I can't afford to tip. Generally though I don't get a $2 cup of coffee from Starbucks, I get a $1.29 refill at 7-11 from their cappucinno machine. Every 7th refill is free even.
Which brings me to Valentine's Day.
I hate Valentine's Day. Even when I had a Valentine, I hated it. Because it was always a big deal. She always wanted the Hallmark Valentines Days that we maybe had in the beginning, and more and more I looked at it like a piece of shit holiday made up to make money off of poor suckers. This year, as you know if you're bothering to read this, I'm alone and have no Valentine to celebrate with other than my beautiful daughter Kaylee. As I say, I have no ROMANTIC Valentine. For the second year in a row. I'm OK with it I guess. Sure I'd like to be out there dating someone nice and have something special to do tomorrow. But I'm not there yet.
I'm not even remotely close to being there yet. And that sucks in a number of ways as well.
See I'm not feeling good enough about myself and my situation to be able to embody my actions with that amazing charismatic thoughts and feelings that would come out to be something that would attract a romantic interest. Not beating around the bush with fancy words, I don't feel pretty enough or worthy enough of love.
I am back to the feelings of that I'll never have another relationship like the one I had with my wife. With is of course on the face of it 100% true. I had BETTER not having another relationship like the one I've had with Melissa since June of 2000. There are parts of it that I'd like to have replicated, but then other parts that can be left aside. I certainly don't ever want to have to relive the last two years of the marriage but I'd say that at least 70% of the 13 years that made up our relationship prior to the last two years was pretty good most of the time.
Seems like "pretty good" is all I'm allowed to get or be. Not great, not spectacular, just "pretty good" - slightly above average. A C+ or a B- in school.
So I'll work tomorrow morning after I drop Kaylee off at school. I do kind of expect at least one delivery of cookies, cake, something sweet, or flowers. I really don't want to have to deliver flowers tomorrow though. I guess I'll have Kaylee stay after school if it gets busy. I'm definitely going to cut off before the rush hour though, my understanding is that delivery is pretty dead between 3 pm and 5 pm on weekdays normally anyway.
I'm getting to know the new area I live in, so that's a plus. Delivery driving is definitely a good way to rapid-fire learn the street system. And no map program is perfect anyway. Apple Maps works seamlessly with the Postmates app. So that's a plus. Even still I get lost and turned around sometimes.
Trying not to make a big deal out of February 14. I mean last year we were in complete limbo, this year it's over and we're both moving on. She's moving on faster than I am. But it's not a race supposedly.
Written 3 columns for the Pro Wrestling Torch website about the Topps WWE Slam Trading Card App. So that's something. I need to write a 4th article tomorrow or Wednesday. I'm a little burnt out on Wrestling at the moment. Didn't watch RAW tonight.